Written 5/16/09-7/12/09, 658 words.
Bandom - gen. A couple days after I rewrote the beginning, I decided to rewrite this fic altogether and started over from the beginning again. As you can see, I didn't get very far. It devolves into summary and notes at the end. Though I like some of the later scenes in the first version, this is by far my favorite beginning.
One otherwise ordinary morning, Pete Wentz woke up and smacked himself in the side with his tail.
Wait. His what?
Upon realizing that he did, in fact, have a tail, his first thought was, I don’t remember putting that there last night. And then, It felt like it was connected to my body. Which means…
That was where the train of thought stopped. He had not the slightest idea what that might mean, other than that he was obviously going crazy. People didn’t grow tails overnight.
But it wasn’t just a tail, Pete discovered as he stood up. It was also four paws and big, floppy ears, and when he tried to say, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ all that came out was a bark.
So, not crazy then. Just a dog. Well, it could always be worse. Probably, though how he wasn’t actually sure.
Suddenly, it occurred to him that he should probably try to tell someone. His Sidekick was lying next to his pillow, and he shoved at it less than gently with his nose until it popped open. He hit ‘send’ clumsily with a paw. Apparently, the last person he’d called was Joe, which was fine. Pete hit ‘send’ again (after accidentally hitting ‘1’ a bunch of times, which thankfully did nothing).
“Hello?” Joe sounded groggy. It was probably before 10 AM, Pete hadn’t looked. He barked into the phone.
“Pete?” Joe asked, confused. “Is this some kind of joke? Are you there? Hello?”
Pete just kept barking into the phone, since it was all he could think to do, and finally Joe said, “All right, I’m hanging up now. Pete, if you’re there, this isn’t funny.”
He had no idea how right he was, Pete thought, unsure what to do next. He highly doubted his paws would let him do more than basic functions on his phone, and it wasn’t like he could feed or walk himself.
Giving up for the moment, he padded downstairs to go freak out Hemingway.
When Joe got to Pete’s house, there was no sign of Pete. His car was in the driveway, but he wasn’t answering the door. So Joe called him. He could hear the Sidekick ring upstairs, but Pete didn’t pick up.
“I’m coming in,” Joe called loudly through the door, feeling under the mat for the key Pete had told him about, in case of emergency. If this didn’t count, he didn’t know what would.
He pushed the door open and walked into the living room, where Hemingway was snuggled up to a dog Joe had never seen before. They both blinked sleepily up at him from the couch.
Joe calls Patrick to ask if he’s heard anything from Pete recently, Patrick says, “Not since yesterday,” and then Joe asks if he knew if Pete had been planning to get another dog. Meanwhile, Pete carries his Sidekick downstairs in his mouth and clumsily types “im pete” with a million other letters in there, because his paws are too big for the keys.
He’s totally calm by the time Patrick gets there, and just says, “This is Pete” pointing at the dog. Patrick gapes a little, then composes himself and says, “I don’t know, dude, don’t you think that dog’s a little butch to be Pete?” Pete glares.
“Whoa, that’s just eerie,” Patrick says. “Seriously, dude, where’s Pete?”
Joe sighs. “Look, Patrick, I know this
-Why is Patrick in LA/not staying with Pete/why is Joe not staying with Pete?
-Joe almost twitters, “What do you do when your best friend turns into a dog? Shit is crazy” but then realizes that even if only one insane fan believes him, that’s still 1 crazy person who knows the truth and that’s a really, really bad idea. So he just kind of waits for Patrick, glancing at his phone a lot. At one point he texts Andy, “band mting 1 hr we’ll put you on speaker”