Fandom: Panic! at the Disco
Word Count: 811
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, this never happened, I am making no money off of anything.
A/N: The second of two ficlets I wrote for kueble based off the prompt 'mermaids.' Again, made of crack.
Spencer woke up one morning with a severe leg cramp. That in itself wasn’t that odd – but the way he could feel his (way too dry) legs rubbing against his sheets when he always wore pajama pants to bed or the way he couldn’t seem to move one leg without moving the other with it, well, that was pretty damn strange.
He lifted the covers, decided this was some sort of really wacked-out dream, and fell back to sleep.
When he woke up again, things hadn’t changed. Spencer undoubtedly had a fishtail where his legs used to be. Not only that – his entire lower half was made of scales. He groaned as Jon walked into the room.
“Hey, what’s up?” Jon asked. “You slept late.”
“Jon,” Spencer said, “What would you say if I told you I went to bed normal and woke up a mermaid?”
Jon looked at him in concern. “I’d say you need some coffee,” he said.
“I think I might need something stronger than coffee,” Spencer told him, throwing off the covers.
Jon stood there and gaped for a second before pulling himself together and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay, so you’re a mermaid.”
“That’s not the worst part, though,” Spencer said, frustrated. “I’m so dry my scales itch and I can’t stand or walk at all.”
“I’ll get you some water.” Jon left and came back with a few bottles of Poland Spring. “Sorry, this was all I could get at the moment. Brendon and Ryan gave me weird looks. I think they think we’re doing something else with them.”
Spencer decided he was better off not knowing what ‘something else’ was, as Jon poured water on his tail, thoroughly drenching his sheets. “Ahhhh, that’s better,” he sighed in relief. Then he noticed Jon looking at him funny. “What?”
“Can I touch your scales?” Jon mumbled quietly, not looking at him anymore.
Spencer shrugged. “Sure.”
When Jon ran a finger down his tail, Spencer shivered in pleasure. The feeling was almost as good as sex, really. He looked Jon, whose eyes had widened at Spencer’s reaction. Spencer smiled and unzipped Jon’s pants. Jon made no move to stop him, continuing to run his hands down Spencer’s fishtail as Spencer wrapped a hand around his rapidly hardening cock. He stroked Jon roughly, the way he knew Jon liked it. After a few minutes, though, his hand motions became sloppy. The way Jon was deftly sliding his fingers over Spencer’s scales was nothing less than expert, and his orgasm snuck up on him fast, starting at the base of his spine and making his whole body shake. Jon kissed him gently and finished himself off, coming over his hand with a sigh.
Spencer pulled Jon back into him and kissed him again, sliding his tongue between Jon’s pliant lips eagerly.
“Hey,” Jon said. “I’ll be right back, okay? I need to go wash my hands.”
“Sure,” said Spencer, “but will you bring me something to eat? I’m kind of starving.”
Jon laughed. “No problem.”
It took Jon longer than he thought it would to get back to Spencer. Ryan and Brendon wanted to know what was going on when he showed up again in the kitchen, looking sated yet troubled. He made up some story on the spot – it was kind of a sloppy lie, but at least they bought it. Then Brendon wanted to tell him all about the conversation they’d been having, which apparently involved monkeys, kitchen utensils and some PlayStation game that was coming out soon. Finally Jon said he needed to get back to Spencer and made his exit.
By the time he got back, Spencer had fallen back to sleep and was snoring lightly. Jon tried to be quiet, but as he set down the bowl he’d brought, Spencer’s eyes fluttered open.
“Hi,” he said groggily, looking up at Jon.
“Hi,” Jon said. “I brought you some food.”
“Thanks,” Spencer mumbled. “Hey, why are my sheets all wet? It’s making my pants damp.” Then his eyes widened in remembrance and he tossed the covers aside.
They both looked at Spencer’s very human legs in his blue striped pajama pants. “That wasn’t a dream, right?” Spencer said. “You remember it, too.”
“Definitely not a dream,” Jon confirmed.
“Well, thank god I’m back to normal,” Spencer said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“Me neither,” said Jon.
Spencer pouted exaggeratedly. “You didn’t like my scales?”
Jon leaned in close. “I like your cock better,” he murmured in low tones. Spencer kissed him and said, “I promise you’ll get to take further advantage of me later, but I haven’t been out of bed all day.”
Jon pouted until Spencer kissed him again, and then again, until it looked like Spencer’s chances of getting out of bed were slim to none.